Courageous Parenting

“What the world really needs is courageous parenting from mothers and fathers who are not afraid to speak up and take a stand.”
 – Elder Larry R. Lawrence

In our General Conference studies, my husband and I have read, studied, and pondered a conference address that speaks volumes to my heart.  I found great confidence and courage in the words that Elder Lawrence shared with each of us on that Sabbath afternoon a few months ago.

In the conference address, he counsels parents with this…

“Courageous parenting does not always involve saying no.  Parents also need courage to say YES to the counsel of modern-day prophets.  Our church leaders have counseled us to establish righteous patterns in our homes.  Consider five fundamental practices that have the power to fortify our youth: family prayer, family scripture study, family home evening, family dinner together, and regular one-on-one interviews with each child.

It takes courage to gather children from whatever they’re doing and kneel together as a family.  It takes courage to turn off the television and the computer and to guide your family through the pages of the scriptures every day.  It takes courage to turn down other invitations on Monday night so that you can reserve that evening for your family.  It takes courage and willpower to avoid overscheduling so that your family can be home for dinner…

…Try to imagine what the rising generation could become if these five righteous patterns were practiced consistently in every home.  Our young people could be like Helaman’s army: INVINCIBLE!” (see Alma 57:25-26)



I bear testimony that these important patterns, things that we are suppose to be doing, are for our good.  I think of them as… The Golden Five will help us THRIVE! (not just survive, but THRIVE in a world filled with good things that distract us!)  I also think back to President Eyring’s talk years ago about good, better, and best!  I often have to ask myself, is this the best choice I could make?

A recent experience I had with Bryson has reinforced my testimony of the power of these important principles.  Bryson had decided to play basketball on the city rec team this year, and before making that decision, we researched when the practices would be and when the games would be.  We were so happy to find out that the practices would be on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which would not conflict with Monday night (the night reserved for family home evening) and Wednesday night (the night reserved for cub scouts, and in the future, mutual).  With such information in hand, he was enrolled to play.

However, the next day I received an email from the coordinator that because of the conflicts of kids that are in youth hockey wanting to play basketball also, they were highly considering changing the practice schedules to accommodate the other kids.  My initial response was to be upset and be discouraged that finally, my son has picked an extra-curricular activity to do that he would not be able to participate in.  And yet, as I prayed about what to do, the thought came to me to reply to this email and share with him my thoughts.  And so… I did just that.

I expressed my thoughts that children are so over-scheduled these days, as are their parents.  I understand the desire that we, as parents, have for our children to be well-rounded and participate in good activities that cultivate teamwork, determination, and sportsmanship.  Yet, are we really willing to sacrifice the well-being of our families, for something that is good, but maybe not the best.  I expressed to him that my son has a family commitment every Monday night, as well as Boy Scouts on Wednesday night, and if he changed it, he would not be participating.  I expressed the importance of family time and not over-scheduling our children, thus making it harder to strengthen our families by being separated.

The response he returned with the next day was quite remarkable.  He agreed with me and said that as far as he was concerned, the schedule would remain as it was.  He even thanked me for my insight.  Oh, how I was relieved.  I am not one to have the courage to speak up, and yet as I prayed and acted, I was given such.

We have to speak up.  We have to have the courage to stand for what is right.  We have to preserve our family time and the things that we have been taught are essential to the success of our little family units.  I am so grateful for Jason’s new job, for the Lord answering our prayers and the righteous desires of our hearts.  He knows us.  He knows that while he has had to work every Monday for the past 2 and a half years, our Family Home Evenings have struggled and we have squeezed them in wherever we can.  He knows how sacred Sunday and Monday night are to us, and He is blessing us with the ability to strengthen our family!
 
Please, I plead with you, ask yourself…

• Do we have family prayer daily?  Morning and Night?
• Do we have family scripture study?
• Are we reserving Monday evening, enough time on Monday evening, to have an effective Family Home Evening?
• Do we take advantage of family dinner together, unrushed from running children to-and-fro?
• Do we have regular one-on-one interviews with each child?

We must simplify our lives…not cram in more activities that can possibly cut into the time of the essential activities!  As this Christmas season allows us to reflect on the Savior, and giving, and what matters most… let us remember to GIVE our families the best – the Golden Five that will help us THRIVE.  Be courageous parents.  Don’t get caught off guard, justify, or sacrifice these things – whatever it is, it’s not worth the salvation of your family!  And I know that although not every profession has every Monday evening off, aim to preserve the time as best you can, and the Lord will reward you for your efforts.  Together, as courageous parents, we can make a difference and preserve our families!